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Rituals for your wedding in Italy: handfasting (or hand tying)

Handfasting is a beautiful ritual to consider including in your wedding ceremony. It involves the celebrant, or even a special friend or relative, tying cords or ribbons around your hands to signify your union.

Celebrant Sarah Morgan doing a handfasting ritual in a wedding ceremony. Photo by Valeria Mameli. Venue: Azienda Agrituristica Sa Mandar, Sardinia

It has ancient Celtic origins, sometimes used to represent a betrothal as well as sanctifying a couple’s commitment. A ceremony with a couple saying their vows and a handfasting was an alternative to a church wedding for forming a marriage in many parts of Britain for centuries. From the 1960s it has been adopted by Neopagans or Wiccans as their wedding ritual.

In a celebrant-led wedding, like for any other element, you can choose how to adopt this ritual to suit your taste and beliefs. It can be as simple or elaborate as you wish. If you like the Celtic idea of summoning the spirits of nature to bear witness to your union friends can represent the four directions and elements (earth, fire, water, air) by standing around you and the couple can repeat a Celtic handfasting vow before the celebrant ties the cords or ribbons. Or, you can choose to have a very simple handfasting with only a few words before about what it represents for you (to bind your lives together, to tie the knot, to create a tie that is unbreakable etc).

Photo by Light & Dreams

The way in which you hold your hands and the way the cords are tied can vary. One way is that the couple face each other holding both hands the the cords are tied around them as on a gift. Another is to hold your hands by crossing them over and thus forming the infinity symbol, or you can one hand opposite hands or side by side. Instead of your hands forming the infinity symbol you can tie the cords in an infinity knot. Finally, a very simple but effective way is to just loosely drape the cords around your hands.

Photo by Emanuele Fumanti

You can choose cords or ribbons that are in some way meaningful to you (like in a wedding in which one of the brides who had Scottish origins chose to use family tartan ribbons) or colours that are symbolic of qualities you would like for your marriage, or just colours or cords that you just really like. It’s fun to be creative and you can find beautiful handwoven cords to buy and you can decide to braid them yourselves.